Category Archives: Father

Dirty Blondes

The house was somewhat of a crime scene although, I guess no ‘laws’ had been broken.

Am I wrong for having these thoughts?  I know they’re Barbies and I know they are kid’s toys; but, man- take it at face value and it just doesn’t seem right.

When I finally came clean and told my wife that I was having these thoughts, her only response was, “yeah, I get a little worried about the one who falls over into the grill.”

Barbie, what has happened to you?  Is it drugs? Alcohol?  Simple depression?

I know it probably sounded like a good idea but save the exercise bike for the morning and my God, where were her friends to take her to bed after she passed out?

OK, What the fuck is going on here?  Miniature Ken, what the fuck man, get yourself together.  Does my daughter need to be seen by a professional?

Yuck, whose clothes are those?  Do you even know?

Oh God, please be careful by the stairs.  Wait, miniature Mom Barbie who drives the minivan in the dog house? Really?

No Comment.

Dude!  Get the fuck up and get out of there.  It probably seemed like a good idea last night, but seriously dude, get up and go home.

I know this was a weird post and honestly I don’t sit around and examine the Barbie half-way house all the time but sometimes it catches my eye.  When 7 or 8 exquisitely dressed Barbies are strewn about face down, half dressed or in various form in the bathroom, all seemingly conscious and smiling, a guy puts a story to it and a little pride in most men swells when GI Joe has clearly been a part of it.

Dirty Work

I change the oil in my Jeep. You should change your car’s oil. There are a bunch of reasons to do it but mostly it feels good inside.

I’m no handy man, so stay with me here. You can do this too.

There is something about working on a car. Sure, it’s easy and fast to pay for basic maintenance but there is nothing rewarding about leaving Jiffy Lube after the barely trained tech has explained the hundreds of dollars of items you should have taken but opted not to. He’s only “recommending” that stuff because the computer told him to. I guess they vacuum your floors right?

You’re just going to have to trust me on the intrinsic value of breaking a warm oil plug on a cold winter’s day; I can’t find the words to explain it.

These are some real factors:

Its easy: Check it out on youtube. Its easier than changing a diaper. Almost all cars are the same and it requires hardly any tools. Perhaps you are scared, don’t be Luke, let the internet show you the way.

It’s family time: It’s damn good for the wife and kids to see you doing something manly besides stare at the TV screen. The kids also get to see a machine, they see that more goes into a car than a DVD player and whatever mom does up front. Kids need to see that machines make things work.

Its a gateway drug: Changing your oil won’t save you money. You break about even once you invest the initial $20 or so for tools. Once you change your oil a few times, your confidence will rise leading you to other equally easy jobs. This weekend I changed my brake pads and rotors, I saved about $200 (compared to any shop) and it cost me about 2 hours. Last month I changed my differential fluids and transfer case, another $200 savings.

Easy Talking Point: Car maintenance makes great conversation. A lot of guys are curious but afraid to ask. Be their guide at the water cooler. Show them that they can since you did.

Peace: The time spent working on jobs like this is stress free and relaxing. I hang out under my Jeep with some music in the background while I sort through the world’s toughest issues. This is my day at the spa.

Try it. Don’t be afraid. Just do it once. The satsifaction you’ll get when you start it back up then examine the dip stick is immeasurable (that’s what she said).

2 hours and barely any know how made my weekend a great one.

Recent Entries »