Category Archives: Tech


This guy doesn’t have cable.

Remember Mel Gibson in Brave Heart when he was being persecuted and yelled, “Freeeeedoooom!” in his last dying breath?  That was me yesterday.  I cancelled my cable service.

After years of tyranny and oppression I broke the chains.

That’s right, I’m a free man with $120 extra per month in my pocket.  The cable dictatorship has been shaken by two major advances:  My family’s total disinterest in cable programming and the increased availability of media online.

I was in captivity for years, moving house to house, making the important first calls to activate service at each new locale.  I was addicted.  Not to TV  programming but to having it available.

We rarely watched TV.

The First Step:  The kids watched the occasional show, hand picked by us and always prerecorded via DVR or online streaming. The adults consumed a show or two a week, older seasons or the current season via DVR.  I realized the media conglomerates might be able to shape what we watched but never where and when.  This was the first step to realizing my independance.

The Key:  Thank you Steve Jobs for showing me the way.  Because I am American, I came to understand that I couldn’t live without programming altogether so I needed a mechanism to consume media from my couch while eating chips and salsa.  Steve Jobs provided me with Apple TV, I use Hulu and Netflix to choose what I want to watch anytime; I get news and time sensitive media (like this blog) via any of our several internet worthy devices.

The 40 minute wait on hold with Time Warner Cable was a pleasure.  The consistent call backs to ask me if I was sure I wanted to cancel were invigorating.

“Yes, I’m sure Time Warner, you no longer own me or my people.”


This Just In — New Derogatory Term!

A nonafone in action

If your insults are getting stale, I have good news.  I have been introduced to a new derogatory term that I think you may be able to put to good use!  I’ve already been using it with famous results.

The term is, ‘nonafone.’ NON-a-FON (hard O) noun:  One who does not posses a contemporary approach to technology and is prone to misunderstanding and inefficiency.

Basically it is those who do not harness the technology of the current day.

So many examples come to mind, here are a few:

1.  Lost:  “How do I get to (insert location)?”  2012 answer:  Take out your phone, write the name of the place you are looking for, then click ‘get directions.’  That’s how you get there; stop wasting my time.

2.  Tired:  “It’s such a pain to sync/share (insert anything) with my computer and/or wife, friends.”  2012 answer:  What do you mean?  Everything I do magically syncs with the people and devices I choose.  No, there is not a driver to load.  Please keep your wire away from my computer.

3.  Uninformed: “I don’t know or I can’t remember (insert any fact).”  2012 answer:  Let me look it up on my pocket sized set of books that contain all of the information in the world…3 minute pass…Oh, here it is, the answer is (insert answer)”  Stop trying to remember everything and try to remember people’s names instead.  Your phone can handle everything else.  Which is more important?

Frequently asked questions about the new word, nonafone:

Can nonafones have smart phones and/or tablets?

Answer:  Yes, if you have a smart devvice but use it only as a phone, you are a nonafone.  For example, the guy who bench presses at my gym with his IPad on his chest is a nonafone.

Do you have to have a smart phone to avoid being a nonafone?

Answer:  Possibly not, you may be able to harness someone else’s smart phone to get by.  You might also be able to carry around a laptop but they don’t make good armbands for laptops and they suck to run with.

Common uses:

“Look at that nonafone texting…T, gH, A, mN, jK, pqrS”…laughing ensues.

“Hey nonafone!  Just pay and get outta here!  What is that cash?”…more laughing.

“No, I don’t have change for a ten- nonafone (sigh).”

“Who? Jim?  Oh yeah, he’s a real nonafone, you’ll have to leave him a message; yes, voice mail still exists”

The etymological history of the word is from US English originally pronounced, “Non Iphone.”  The term morphed with the advent of additional smart phones and increased common usage.

A curt yet decisive shortening is also becoming popular as  just ‘Noner.”

So, enjoy the term.  I have found it is quick, insulting and degrading!  If used enough, it could move people to action.

Contributing to our society; One Google review at a time

Mike’s pizza deserves more great reviews.

I read internet customer reviews before I buy something or go somewhere.  My wife reads them even more.  I post reviews on Google, when a business strikes me as very good or bad.  I should post more reviews on Amazon about the products I buy.

There is value in these reviews.  This is the power of the internet.  Anyone, anytime can post what they think about a product.  The most helpful reviews are cheered by other customers while the least helpful fall to the bottom.

This is good right?  This is increased access to information so that the customer can make informed decisions.

The economic law of supply and demand depends on the supplier and buyer having equal information about the good.  The opposite is called ‘information asymmetry.’  This condition is said to cause market failure.  Google it, it’s interesting.

Bad guys are creating asymmetry on purpose.

What if an author or publisher hires a company to post hundreds of positive reviews of their book on Amazon?  What about a product?

There are no laws against being shady and unethical.  It usually hurts your brand though.

The company, promises, “We don’t actually delete any webpages (only the person who posted [a bad review or negative content] can do that), instead we simply make unwanted pages about your business rank lower in search results so that virtually no one ever sees them.”

So, I guess the story goes if you are a shitty doctor or a restaurant with poor service and have earned some bad customer reviews, you can hire to make them ‘go away?’

That’s weak.

Let’s do our part and post quick reviews on Google and Amazon when we buy something or go somewhere…the market…no, our society depends on it.

Ok, maybe not our society.