Subway’s Olympic Green

News Flash: The Avocado in this picture doesn’t look like what they actually squirt onto your sandwich

After several friends independently advised me NOT to go to Subway and get their new Avocado topping, I had to go and see for myself.

Sure enough, they were right.

It’s some sort of paste; taco bell like, liquid stuff. It’s a green compound with consistency similar to tooth paste. Not slices, not bits. It doesn’t seem like avocado simply put through a blender, there is a synthetic aura about this stuff.

They used to squeeze it right from the bag that it comes in. The subway lady told me that recently they put it in the bins because it presents a lot better that way. One customer, she said, called it ‘do, do.’

Curious now, I investigated a bit further. Turns out that the nutrition contents listed on Subway’s website is similar to, but not exactly matching the nutritional information on this Avocado Website. Could be just a difference in breed (or however you differentiate between Avocado families.)

Still not convinced that this space age fluid is, in fact, nature’s super food, I e-mailed Subway to ask if what they slopped on my sandwich was truly the fruit of Mother Earth’s loins.

They responded:

“In response to your question, the avocado used is 100 percent avocado.”

I don’t know how it’s done but Subway somehow converted the fruit originally known to the Aztec as ‘testicle,’ into this thick ooze, easily slimed, onto thousands of sandwiches daily by your local Subway worker.

Well done Jared. Well done.

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